My Brittle Heart Yearns To Be Soft

Posted by on Aug 1, 2014 in Control, Freedom, Love, Vulnerability | 20 comments

#42 love is patient

 

My brittle heart yearns for the softness of innocent trust. It squirms within the shell of experiences that mold it – waiting for occasional moments to beat with true freedom.

I know my heart was designed for feeling – for vulnerable encounters. Unfortunately like most people, I learned early on that along with vulnerability often comes pain . And pain drives me to the shelter of a hardened, secure place.

Our youthful hearts can easily becomes suspicious, self protective and old. Hard and hollow.

I admit it – my feelings get hurt. I wish I could say my tough exterior is made from some sort of righteous maturity, but it is not. I’ve learned to appear resolute and say the right words, but each time my heart is hurt the walls grow a little thicker. Just this morning someone hurt my feelings and didn’t even know it. I recoiled.

Proverbs 29:25 says, “Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe”. I don’t believe this verse is suggesting I avoid people and trust God. I think it tells me to trust God with every relationship, avoiding the snare of fear.

A soft heart loves at all times – even through vulnerable and difficult encounters. There’s freedom in openness and vulnerability – freedom in trust. Trust encased in love generates life.

By God’s grace I will continue to take a sledge hammer to the hard walls I hide behind every time I’m hurt. I know I’m kidding myself to think genuine love can seep through the cracks of a self protected heart.

Love, Real love, God’s love – oozes out of and overflows from selfless vulnerability.

 

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20 Comments

  1. Most women I know suffer from this same thing. For me, I think it started in junior high school and only got worse after that… being fearful of really trusting people. We can be hard on each other and it makes us cautious in relationships. But you are right, God has designed us to be vulnerable for the sake of genuine love. I work on this too.

    • I really appreciate your loyalty and vulnerability here, Amy. Thanks for always being quick to join the conversation. You’re a blessing!

  2. So true: “I know I’m kidding myself to think genuine love can seep through the cracks of a self protected heart.” I appreciate your bravery to share on this topic. I recoiled over something last week…my internal reaction was so quick and self-protective. This is scary and real. But necessary.

    • The very thing I recoil from seems to be the customized vehicle God uses for change and softness. Kind of crazy. I appreciate your influence of authenticity in my life, D’Arcy. You always point me to Christ.

  3. Pat … this is . simply . gorgeous. So beautifully laden with a vulnerable truth that’s strong. That shines.

    This here has made my day.

    Hugs.

    • Well then, Linda, that makes two of us – you just made my day too! Thank you so much for the affirmation and for your friendship.

      Hugs back.

  4. I want the Corinthians 13 kind of love to ooze out of and overflows from me too. It definitely takes a sledge hammer to make that happen sometimes 🙂

    • A day is coming when things will change. Aren’t you grateful, Liz. “For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror,{but} then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part, then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.”

      • Thanks, Pat. There is wisdom and life in your words. Your vulnerability opens my eyes once again.

        • You are way too kind, Leanne. Thank you.

  5. Sometimes situations and circumstances cause people to say or react to us when their motive was not intended to cause hurt. THAT’S WHAT I DEALT WITH THIS WEEK!!! I purposefully told myself that person cares for me and loves me. They had a reason for their words and answer that crushed my vulnerable heart. I prayed for that person who faced surgery the next day and was able to let love flow again towards them.So often I have to remind myself other people are human just like me, and I melt once again before the Lord. Great post Pat, thanks for sharing!

    • What a beautiful story of softness surfacing through the power of confession and vulnerability. I love how sacrificial love triumphed over your own wounded-ness. It’s so Christ-like, so life giving, and so lovely.

      Thank you for sharing your story and your heart, Jeannie. I pray God inspires someone else through it and continues to use your generous life. Bless you!

  6. I sure needed this message today! Thank you so much for your words that comfort because they bring us back to where we are grounded….only and forever in Christ. Humans disappoint us with harsh words and often, it’s not intentional but it feels like an attack. I will pray for a softening of my heart to confront and forgive as Jesus has asked us to do.

    • Isn’t it interesting how difficult forgiveness is for us, especially when we think we’re innocent of any wrongdoing. And yet, when we forgive, whether we’re right or not – freedom and redemption are always waiting for us on the other side of it.

      I really appreciate you sharing here today, Linda. It’s obvious you work hard to keep a soft heart. You’re an inspiration.

  7. I so relate to this post! I’m tender-hearted, sensitive, and easily hurt. Years of being wounded and the walls have gone up. I’m working on tearing down the walls I’ve built and trusting God to be the one who protects my heart.

    • Oh I love that, “…trusting God to be the one who protects my heart.” Me too, Elizabeth! I appreciate your tender-hearted comment. Bless you, friend.

  8. great post pat! it is something GOD has been working on in my life for years! there is still plenty of room for work left to go too! thanks for the reminder to have GOD keep our hearts soft and vulnerable despite the many times we are hurt.

    • I really appreciate your input Martha. It is a life of “Gritty Grace”, isn’t it! Have a blessed weekend.

  9. I’m sorry you were hurt Pat. It’s the blessing and curse of a tender heart, that feels, and pulses and responds. To this the old saints would say…love anyway. Bless you as you make the choice to walk in love today and always.

    • To this – my inner voice along with the Holy Spirit, join the old saints, in full agreement. Peace, trust, true fellowship and freedom always follow a decision to “love anyway”. Bless you, Lisha.

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