Remembering With a Friend Today

He loves & listens


We turn the pages of our calendars to October today. For some, it’s a joyful welcome to the new fall season. But for my dear friend Debbie, it’s a reminder she faces a month peppered with memories – both good and hard.

Five years ago today, her family welcomed the first grandchild into their lives. Inexplicable joy came in the form of a redheaded bundle delivered by her youngest born. For the next three years, pink exuberance took over the family gatherings.

Coming up in a couple weeks another more difficult date looms on Debbie’s calendar. Two years ago on an October Sunday morning, her granddaughter’s residency drastically changed. While her parents slept peacefully down the hall, little Eisley was ushered to her heavenly home without warning, without explanation and without a kiss good bye.

Can you even imagine burying a three year old – much less, your daughter, your niece, or your granddaughter?

My heart aches for the October grief this family suffers each year. Dates scream out the ‘what if’s’ as birthdays and meaningful holidays pass by. And the memory of leaving her little body at the cemetery – could there be anything more difficult.

As Debbie’s sister in Christ and friend, I apologize for trying to understand her grief – or worse, trying to make sense of it. Grief is painful. Grief is long lasting. Grief needs understanding and sensitivity.

Eisley’s memory is worth keeping alive no matter how hard it is. Debbie needs Eisley’s memory to be kept alive. So as her friend, I need it also.

CS Lewis said in his book Grief Observed, “The death of a beloved is an amputation.” This is hard truth!

The Holy Spirit offers comfort. The Word of God sustains. But we, her community and family – are called to be the gauze and tape. We squeeze with pressure until the bleed subsides. Each October the wound reopens. Each October my friend needs holding.

Recording artist Laura Story knows about pain and suffering.

Remember a friend today as you listen to her beautiful call to embrace our hard places. Please remember my friend Debbie and her family today too – October 1, 2013 – on what would have been Eisley’s 5th birthday. Pray for unveiled mercy.





8 replies on “Remembering With a Friend Today”

  1. My heart breaks and I wept as I read about this tragedy. It is something I can’t imagine having to walk through. i know the Lord will help and comfort this family as we hold them up before His throne this entire month. Heaven is getting sweeter all the time! Lord, bless this family with your peace.

  2. Thank you, Pat, for not only the prayer need (and I, too, commit to pray for them this month), but also for the fresh reminder to NEVER take a moment of life for granted.

  3. So extremely painful and yet the response is “be thankful for everything.” My prayer is that I may be thankful always especially in the hardest of things.
    Thank you for the reminder to pray for Debbie and her family.

  4. I have always admired Debbie and her family. But I have to say – they have been more than courageous in their journey through this loss. They’re my heroes. Thanks for praying, Cindy.

  5. Dear Pat
    Yes, C.S. Lewis was right with his conclusion about losing a loved one. I think he also said in the same book that loving others guarantees pain, but it is still worth much more that never loving at all. I am encouraged by your love for your friend and helping her carry this burden every October. This is what Jesus loves when we share and love others through their pain and loss.
    Blessings XX

  6. Thank you for visiting, Mia. You’re right, we serve a God of redemption and love. My friend and her family sit in a high place of influence because of their commitment to Christ and because of their pain. They would never have chosen this path, but like you, they embrace it w/ grace. Blessings to you.

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